So, since this summer, I've had people recommend for me to read Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. Henry Townsend. I've owned the book for about a year but I've put off reading it because I knew it would be super convicting and just a tough read. But after a series of unfortunate events this week, I began reading it yesterday, and even though I'm only fifty pages in, I've already learned so much. In my life, I've been horrible at setting legitimate boundaries, and I really suck at saying no.
And then this week we had to resubmit our CCLP and I had typed in the beginning of the year that I had a commitment to say no to something at least once daily. This could be saying no to hanging out, when I have things I need to do, saying no to a dessert I don't need, or saying no to watching a movie so I can actually get some sleep. It's really hard for me to say no a lot of times because I have a severe case of FOMO (fear of missing out). Also, a lot of times it's hard for me to say no because I just know that I need to say no but I don't have an explanation for why I'm saying no so I feel ignorant. But, no is a complete sentence and I shouldn't have to explain myself to anyone just because I'm saying no to them.
The biggest thing I've struggled with when it comes to setting boundaries is after I've forgiven someone who hurt me really bad. I've always thought that forgiving someone meant that I should trust them again and go back to being best friends, but that is not at all the case. You can forgive someone before they've actually shown a repentant spirit for what they've done, so forgive, but guard yourself from them until you see sustained change. You are a child of God who deserves better than to be walked all over, just in the name of you "trying to be a good Christian."